Many people assume that to be a strong leader a coach must have charisma. To an extent, that is true, but sometimes charisma is misunderstood. The definition of charisma is like beauty, it’s in the eye of the beholder. John Maxwell has said, “The person without charisma walks into a room and says, ‘Here I am.’ The person with charisma walks into a room and says, ‘There you are.’”
Like Maxwell, Robert Breault says, “Charisma is not so much getting people to like you as getting people to like themselves when you are around.”
I’ve heard it said from a couple of people who know former president Bill Clinton, that he would light up a room when he entered. People who love life have charisma because they fill the room with positive energy and help people experience the positivity of the moment. You don’t need to have this larger-than-life personality or be the smartest person in the room. Coaches and leaders with charisma give instead of take. Perhaps you have never thought about it, but the position you have as a coach gives you a big first step toward leading with charisma. The rest comes from putting others ahead of yourself, serving others with positivity and sharing the gifts God has given with others.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”—Philippians 2:3
Like most things, charisma can be used for good or evil. Perhaps the most charismatic person of the 20th century was Adolf Hitler. Other charismatic people used their gift for good. I think of John F. Kennedy, Ronald Reagan and Billy Graham. Kennedy, Reagan and Graham had character and charisma. Charisma gets the attention of man. Character gets the attention of God.
In recent years there has been much talk about building team culture. A cornerstone of team culture should be building character, especially within the coaching staff. The Rev. Billy Graham once said, “When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.”
You’ve often heard it said that integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. Here’s the rub: your players are watching. None of us are perfect, but coaches need to set the standard high. When we make a mistake, be honest and transparent. We are afraid our players will not respect us if we admit to our mistakes. The truth is, you will be more respected. Players lose respect for coaches when they fail but won’t own up to the mistake. As coaches, we set high standards for our players, and rightly so. We should set even higher standards for ourselves and our staff. Keeping high standards can be a struggle, but team culture will benefit from it. Just as we tell our players, we can’t just talk a good game, we must play a good game. Walk the talk. As a coaching staff, hold each other accountable. Then, hold your players accountable. We shouldn’t accept mediocrity on the field. Even more so, we shouldn’t accept mediocrity in our standards in character. We will not be perfect, but the higher our standards the better our character will be.
“If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”—James 4:17
Some coaches place character development low on their priority list. They either don’t want to take the time to grow in this area or they simply think they can win without integrity. You may succeed for a short time, but if you want long term success and respect, work hard on your personal character.
A few of the coaches who possessed both character and charisma during my career are Jerry Kindall (Arizona), John Scolinos (Cal Poly Pomona), Bobby Richardson (Liberty), Mark Johnson (Texas A&M), Ron Polk (Mississippi State), Hal Baird (Auburn) and Dave Keilitz (Central Michigan). All these coaches modeled for me how to coach the right way. There are many more, of course, who have coached and continue to coach with integrity as a high priority. If you look closely into their programs, you will see that the team culture is excellent.
I have taken the liberty to share a few lines from Dale Wimbrow’s famous poem, “The Man in the Mirror.”
When you get all you want and you
struggle for self,
and the world makes you king for a day,
then you go to the mirror and look at yourself
and see what that man has to say.
You can fool the whole world,
down the highway of years,
and take a pat on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be
heartache and tears
if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
We can be coaches possessing both charisma and character. It’s not easy. It takes work and discipline, but the long-term benefits will be worth the effort.